Patient
f I could rate this physician a -5, trust me, I would. What a remarkable display of dedication! After all, not everyone can manage to "visit" a patient without ever actually speaking to them. Apparently, walking into the room while the patient is asleep now counts as quality care -- who knew? It only took him four days to grace us with his presence, and even then, conversation must have been far too much effort. Truly an inspiring example of modern medicine at its finest. If you're looking for a doctor who specializes in ghost visits and imaginative charting, this is absolutely your guy.